


All My Soul Within Me Burning

by mythicalquill



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Edgar Allen Poe, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Let me know what else to tag, Luna's perspective, My second fanfic so once again not entirely sure what to tag, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-10-25 02:36:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10754988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicalquill/pseuds/mythicalquill
Summary: Luna meets a mysterious girl at a bookstore one day and is immediately taken with her, although she doesn't know if the feeling is mutual. Throughout the rest of the chapters and conflicts, the two must figure out their relationship while dealing with their 21st century lives.





	1. Once Upon a Midday Dreary

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is just the second fanfic that I've ever written, so I might be a bit rough. I'd love to hear what you all think, good or bad! I've got about nine or ten chapters planned out, and I plan to update about once a week. (But my updating schedule might be a bit wacky, especially depending on what happens every Wednesday. If they kill off my faves I mayyy just lose a little motivation.) More characters might be added later; I'm thinking we'll see the rest of the delinquents, probably Lincoln--- Oh, and Abby next chapter! Thanks, and enjoy!

The day was warm, the bookstore was stifling, and Luna was just about ready to throw something. It wasn’t like her to be violent, far from it, but for it to be this scorching in the middle of autumn was almost too much to bear. She closed her eyes, took a careful, measured breath, and pictured the cool waves lapping onto the shore by her childhood home. The gentle rhythm of her imagination soothed her, and she opened her eyes once more, scanning the shelves for any interesting titles.  


A display by the stairs caught her eye— Stacks of classic books recovered in shimmering, vibrant colors. Luna stepped over and picked up the nearest one: The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe. A small plastic ruby eye winked up at her from among the ebony feathers of a raven perched upon the stylized text. Her finger gently traced the spine, feeling the rough bumps and cracks that must have been added for texture to the evidently brand-new book. As she was about to set it back down, she heard a voice behind her.  


“You’ve got good taste. Everyone’s all about those dystopian, post-apocalyptic novels these days.”   


She spun around to see a girl about her age, with flashing dark eyes, warm brown skin, hair pulled back into a ponytail, and a dazzling smile. She was leaning heavily on her right leg, a brace entwined around her left, and clutched a thick blue folder in her hand. She was using it to motion to the book in Luna’s hand, which Luna quickly set back down.  


“Oh, this? No, I, just, um,” She stuttered out something about just liking the cover. The girl looked amused.  


“You don’t like his poems, then?”  


Luna shrugged. “I guess I do. I never really got them, though. They were just assigned homework in high school that I had to analyze at two in the morning.” Luna had been a good student generally, but she had tended to procrastinate and stay up until the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes in her room, sometimes on the beach, always doing something she deemed far more important than schoolwork.  


The girl stepped closer, a graceful limp despite her brace. It was clear that walking this way had become second nature to her. She picked up the book that Luna had discarded, smiled as though she was sharing a secret with the sinister raven on the cover, and started to flip through it. Once she had found what she was looking for, she began to read.  


“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary…”  


As she read, Luna listened, captivated by her voice. Who was this girl? Did she often stop people in bookstores and read to them in this beautiful, lilting voice? Did she work here? Luna glanced down, but there was no nametag to be found amidst the red cloth of her shirt. Maybe just a volunteer?  


“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before…”  


Luna swayed slightly, the rhythmic beat of the poetry washing over her ears. She was still overheated, but suddenly she didn’t mind as much. She could stand here and listen for hours.  


“Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore! Quoth the Raven, ‘Nevermore.’”  


With a tilted head, Luna watched the girl as she spoke. She was smiling slightly now, although the words she was reading were solemn and dark. She spoke them with a practiced ease, as if she had not only memorized them, but felt their meaning to her core.  


“Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore; Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”  


Right, the poem was about the narrator lamenting his lost love, Lenore. Luna remembered vaguely her tests and essays on the piece. There was some symbolism by the raven, of death and ill omen, memory and thought. The way this girl was speaking, it was as if she had experienced a loss like this, some loved one taken from her. Her words rang true in the stillness of the store. Luna felt the urge to reach out and comfort her, but reminded herself that it was just a poem, with no bearing on her actual life. Perhaps she was just a good actress.  


“And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor shall be lifted— Nevermore!” With that, the girl shut the book firmly and placed it back on top of the stack. Luna felt the urge to applaud, but worried that might come across strangely, and compromised by grinning widely and saying, “That was fantastic.”  


“Yeah, that’s one of my favorites. It’s famous for being so dramatic and almost… musical. The internal rhymes are great. And ‘nevermore’ being repeated as a refrain adds to something that Poe called the unity effect, I think?” She paused, tracing her finger along the cover. “It’s where each individual line and word add up to the larger meaning of the poem. This guy, all alone, trying to forget his lost loved one. It really speaks to you, you know?” She stared dreamily down at the book, and Luna shifted uncomfortably, unsure what to say. Eventually, she broke the silence.  


“So, are you here to look for a specific book?”  


“‘I had sought to borrow from my books surcease of sorrow,’” the girl grinned, then shook her head. “No, I’m here to put up flyers for this blood-drive.” She flipped open her blue folder and pulled out a small leaflet, offering it to Luna. She accepted and scanned it. It seemed pretty standard, with blocky red text reading, “Your Blood Could Save the Human Race!”  


“Huh. Are you setting this up yourself?” Luna asked, intrigued.  


She shook her head, her ponytail flipping back and forth. “No, a friend of mine, Dr. Abby Griffin, is organizing it. I’m just helping out. Well—I say friend. She’s practically my mom. Could you see if you can make it?”  


“Sure.” Luna switched the leaflet to her left hand and extended her right. “I’m Luna, by the way.” With a sly grin, the girl grasped her hand and shook it firmly.  


“Raven.”


	2. Still the Beating of My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter! This one was a little harder to write, mostly because I have almost no idea how a blood drive works, nor am I a college student. (So if anyone who is better informed on either of these topics would care to educate/correct me, I would be very grateful.) Little bit of Clarke and Abby here, with a hint of Jackson. Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think!

It was about two weeks after this encounter that Luna and Raven met again. Luna had debated for days whether or not to show up to the drive— She had never donated blood before. But eventually her curiosity about and longing to once more see the strange girl—now identified as Raven— won out. After researching what to expect online, she threw on a short-sleeve shirt and skirt, grabbed her bag, and headed out the door. A few minutes later, she arrived at the tall, nondescript building where the flyer said the event was being held. 

Walking in, she immediately recognized the familiar ponytail attached to a girl with her back to her, gazing down at a clipboard. Another young blonde woman sat at a desk, doodling absentmindedly on a sheet of paper. She looked up and smiled when Luna walked in. 

“Hey, how are you today?” she asked, her blue eyes twinkling. Raven turned from her work, saw Luna, and flashed a dazzling grin.

“Hey! It’s Luna, right?” 

Luna nodded. “Right. And you’re Raven.” She paused. “I’m in the right place at the right time, aren’t I?”

The blonde girl— Clarke, by her nametag— bobbed her head. “If you’re here for my mom’s blood drive, this is definitely the correct venue. I just need to see your donor card, driver’s license, or two other forms of ID, then I’ve got a little bit of paperwork for you to fill out.” 

Luna complied, willing herself as she did so not to glance over too often at Raven, who was standing a few feet away. She concentrated on the sheet in front of her. 

Name: _Luna Nadia Flouku,_ she wrote. 

Phone Number: _732-6324-2642._

Address: _410 Nemiyon Ave._

After she was finished with that, Clarke led her into an adjoining room. With one quick look back at Raven, who was chewing on her pen in deep concentration, Luna followed. 

There were two people in the sparse grey room. A young man with dark skin was typing away at a computer, while an older woman organized medical supplies on a shelf. As Clarke stepped towards her, she turned, revealing a variety of similar features between the two. The resemblance was so striking that they could only be mother and daughter. 

Clarke handed over the paperwork, exchanged a few quick words, and left. 

“You must be Dr. Griffin,” Luna ventured after a few second’s silence. “Raven mentioned something about you.” 

“Please, call me Abby.” 

“Sorry, Abby.” 

“Are you good friends with Raven?” Abby asked politely, looking through a sheaf of papers.

Luna shook her head quickly. “Oh, no. We just met the other day. I barely know her. I mean, I know her a little. But not much. She seems like a great person, though. I mean, she seems really smart, and I know she’s a great reader. Plus, her voice is just amazing. Not that I’ve heard it a lot, just once, because I don’t know her well. But I’ve heard, I mean, I know—”

Realizing that she was rambling, Luna quickly stopped, feeling her face grow red. Abby smiled warmly and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

“It’s quite common to be nervous your first time. Getting your blood drawn can be a daunting experience. But I assure you, we know exactly what we’re doing,” Abby said, completely misinterpreting the cause of Luna’s discomfort. 

Luna smiled weakly. “Great.” 

“Jackson here is going to ask you some routine questions while I set up.” 

The man stood up from his computer and smiled kindly at her, holding up a sheet of paper. The whole process went by surprisingly fast. Jackson inquired about her health and travel history, and conducted a few simple tests that Luna endured with patience. 

Eventually, it became time for the procedure. Luna closed her eyes and willed herself to be calm. She imagined the waves, then Raven’s face, then the woeful story of Edgar Allen Poe and what it sounded like aloud in that overheated bookstore. By the time the prick came to her arm, she barely noticed it. 

After occasionally exchanging conversation with Abby and the quieter Jackson, the eight minutes of blood-drawing were soon up and Luna was directed into another room where refreshments and chairs lay waiting. She avoided looking at the results of her donation while she slowly made her way in and took a seat. 

“Stay here and rest for about ten to fifteen minutes, then feel free to go home and enjoy the knowledge that you’ve saved lives,” were Abby’s doctor orders.

Luna grabbed an apple and water bottle and took out her phone, ready to spend the next quarter hour messing around on it. Before she got the chance to do much, however, the door opened and Raven slipped in. Luna immediately dropped the device into her lap. Feeling her face grow red, she picked it back up and slipped it into her pocket. At the rate her heart was beating, she was sure that she’d have replenished her blood supply in less than the estimated twenty-four hours. Raven seemed not to notice her slip-up, but picked up a water bottle from the table and sat down across from her. 

“So, how’d it go?” she asked, eyes glimmering in the harsh lights.

Luna shrugged. “Okay. Abby and Jackson are really nice.” 

Raven smiled, popped open her water, and took a sip. “Yeah, I’ve known them for a long time. Clarke, too. We’ve been through a lot together. She’s currently studying to be an artist, though I suspect she’ll end up doing something in politics. Although I do sometimes have my problems with her, she’s a born leader. I’d follow her to the end of the world.”

Luna nodded. “Yeah, I get that feeling from her. She really commands the room.” 

There was a pause. Raven glanced at her watch, and Luna immediately felt guilty. 

“Oh, I’m not taking you away from your medical duties, am I?” she asked.

Raven shook her head emphatically. “Oh, no. I’m just here to help set up, clean up, keep things organized, and just generally help Abby. I’m not really a doctor.” She took another sip. “I’m actually majoring in aerospace engineering at Arkadia.”

Luna leaned forward, intrigued. “Oh, that’s interesting! What sorts of things do you do?”

Raven leaned back and quoted, “‘As an aerospace engineer major, you will be taught how to use science and math to design and develop aircrafts, spacecrafts, and missiles. You will cover topics such as aerodynamics, orbits, launch, flight controls, and engines.’ So… I basically design and build rocketships. Or at least, that’s my favorite part of it.”

“That’s cool. I’ve always really loved space, but I think I’d rather stay down here on the ground. Slightly less chance of my head imploding.”

Raven laughed, and Luna felt heart flutter in her chest. Ignoring it, she took a sip of water. Raven did the same, then spoke again. 

“What about you? What are you studying?"

“Well, for some time, I was training to work in the government, like you said Clarke might. But finally I decided I didn’t like my major, or the school, so I dropped out. I’m studying environmental science now, which makes me a lot happier.”

Raven nodded. “That’s good. You shouldn’t devote your life to something that you don’t enjoy. I’ve always loved space, physics, and engineering. I think the ‘dream up new ways of exploring galaxies unknown’ part of the course description was what really sold it for me. All those other worlds, the vastness of it all, the endless stars, all the possibilities.” Her voice was passionate, her eyes bright. 

“I know just what you mean,” Luna responded. They smiled at each other. 

For the next few minutes, they chatted casually about their courses, how their colleges compared, and what sorts of things they planned to do with their education. The topic never strayed much, so by the time Luna checked her watch and decided she should go, she was even more intrigued by the brilliant girl in front of her.

“Well, I hope to see you again sometime,” she said as she got up, tossing her bottle into the recycling bin. “I’d like to hear more about your upcoming adventures through the galaxy.”

Raven grinned and stood up as well, her ponytail swishing. “See you, Luna.” 

With a quick hug that sent her head spinning, ( _You’re just dizzy from the procedure,_ she told herself) Luna was out the door and heading home, rocketships and constellations dancing in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the phone number is sea-mech-anic, and I’m pretty sure that the name of her street is miracle— I’m a little rusty on my trigedasleng. (Also, I personally enjoy the trend of character’s middle names being their actor’s first names, so I used that here too. 10 points to Ravenclaw if anyone can guess what Raven's full name is.) Hope you guys enjoyed! I’m getting started on chapter three— We’re gonna see some of the other delinquents, which should be fun. Let me know what you thought, either here or @mythicalquill on Tumblr!


	3. Eagerly I Wished the Morrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven’t updated recently, these past two episodes really got me down.  
> Episode ten? What episode ten? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Luna is happy, alive, and peaceful with her space wife, who is also totally fine. (Side note: Is anyone still interested in reading this? Has the fanbase disappeared?) The chapter title for this one might be stretching it, but hey, there are only so many quotes from The Raven that I can use, and I’ve got them all planned out for the rest. Hope you enjoy! (And feel free to come scream with me on my tumblr, @mythicalquill. I encourage it.)

The next night, Luna was sitting in bed when her phone buzzed. She glanced down at it, her eyes widening and her heart beating faster when she saw its contents. 

“Hey, it’s Raven.”

Raven!? How did she get her number? Was there something wrong with the blood that she had given? Was she about to find out that she had a life-threatening disease? Could her world be ending? Before she could voice these fears, her phone buzzed again.

“One of my friends told me about a new outer space exhibit that’s opening up at a nearby museum, and a bunch of us thought we’d go together. I remembered that we talked about space a bit, and I was wondering if you might want to bring a couple friends and come along? As far as I’ve heard, there’s little to no chance of your head imploding. Are you interested?”

After reading this, Luna felt a bit silly about her unfounded worries. At the same time, she was touched that Raven had thought of her, after only their brief conversation about this shared interest. Her phone buzzed again. 

“P.S. I mayyyy or may not have gotten your number from your form, possibly breaking about five laws in the process. Clarke has let me know that patient confidentiality is not to be taken lightly. I told her that fixing her car for free with my awesome mechanic skills shouldn’t be taken lightly either, which shut her up. For now.”

After smiling at this, Luna tapped out a quick reply, reading it over three or four times before she sent it. 

“sure, i’d love to go! i think i know someone who’ll be interested, what time??” 

The response came almost immediately.

“Great! We were thinking tomorrow, 2pm?” 

“that works for me! i’ll text my friend and see if he can come.”

Luna scrolled through her contacts until she got to Lincoln, and clicked his name. After a quick conversation, Lincoln responded enthusiastically. After confirming with Raven and getting a few more details, Luna set down her phone for the night, unable to keep the smile off her face as she settled back into bed. She couldn’t wait for tomorrow. 

The next day arrived quickly, and with it came a lot of anxiety. Luna paced around her house and did menial tasks for a few hours to keep her mind off of the day ahead. She knew it was no big deal, would probably just be a quick, fun look at some plastic replications of the moon, but she was nervous nonetheless. At exactly 1:30, she set out from her apartment, walking towards Lincoln’s. After she let him know she was there, he headed down from his rooms. 

“So, who’s this friend who invited you?” Lincoln asked as he fell into step beside her, his dark bald head glinting in the afternoon sun. 

“Well, we’re more acquaintances. We’ve only actually met twice.”

Lincoln looked over at her. “You’re sure this invitation isn’t you being lured into a trap by a total stranger?”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Yes, Lincoln, that’s why we’re meeting at a public place, in the middle of the day, after I’ve been introduced to a few of her friends, some of whom were doctors with legit credentials. Which they showed me.”

Lincoln raised his hands defensively. “Okay! Just thought I’d ask.” 

They spent the rest of the walk in companionable chatter, catching up about things that had happened since they saw each other last. It seemed like ages since they had. They arrived at the museum in no time. After making their way in and to the solar system exhibit, Luna finally spotted the pony-tailed girl she was beginning to know better. 

“Luna!” Raven’s eyes lit up when she saw her. After being introduced, Lincoln stepped away with a smile. Luna noticed him striking up a conversation with a dark haired girl in braids off to the side. She felt a slight chill, as if someone had opened a window in the room, but shook it off quickly and turned back to Raven.

“So, how many of these people do you know?” she asked, gazing around at the variety of figures milling about around them. 

Raven peered around and gestured towards a small clump near a display of Jupiter. Luna recognized Clarke, who was chatting with a brunette in dark eye makeup who looked vaguely familiar, and a curly-haired boy who kept glancing over at Lincoln and his new friend. There were a few more kids— among them an asian boy standing with a blonde girl and another dark haired boy, all looking extremely happy and healthy and carefree, ~~and did I mention happy?~~

Before Luna could ask more, such as who they all were or how Raven knew them, a girl with a swirling green tattoo below her eye and a narrow-faced boy approached, both grinning devilishly. 

“Gonna try to steal one of the exhibits again, Murphy?” Raven asked with a glint in her eye when the pair stopped just short of them, but with such a reprimanding tone that Luna couldn’t quite tell if she was joking.

The boy rolled his eyes. “Nah, not quite my style. Imagine sneaking one of those planets out the door. It would never work. They’re way too big.”

The girl next to him narrowed her eyes, squinting appraisingly towards the nearest exhibit. “I don’t know, John… You can tell by the cracks in the plastic that they dismantle easily. I’m sure that between the four of us we can manage to carry the pieces out of here unnoticed.” The boy grinned proudly and planted a kiss to the side of her head. 

Raven cracked a smile, glanced at Luna, then gestured towards the pair. “The cockroach over here is Murphy. And this is Emori, his _slightly_ more tolerable girlfriend. He’s quite the piece of work.”

Murphy rolled his eyes. “She always makes it sound like I shot her or something.” He nudged Raven in the side. “You know you love me, Reyes.” With that, he grabbed Emori by her gloved hand and pulled her away, off to who-knows-where. 

Luna smiled. “You certainly have a colorful group of friends.”

Raven laughed. “Yeah, they’re really something. Not all of them are _quite_ so criminally inclined, though it seems like most of them have had some sort of run-in with the law. Sort of how most of us met.” She gazed in the direction Emori and Murphy had disappeared. “I actually had to live with them and Clarke for a while. Let me tell you, there was a lot of tension in that household. And not just because it’s difficult to live with a couple when you’re single. I moved out, and we’re better friends now. Even if I’m still single, and they’re still disgustingly happy together.” She smiled fondly, seemingly unaware of Luna’s eyes on her. 

Raven paused, then appeared to notice some familiar blonde hair swish a few meters away. “Come on, let’s go say hi to Clarke before checking out some of the exhibits.” She marched away, Luna following close behind, still insisting to herself that the news that Raven wasn’t dating anyone (how!?) was completely meaningless to her. 

Clarke had drifted away from the others, and was gazing up at a map of different constellations. Without acknowledging that she had noticed their approach, she spoke.

“You know, I really loved space as a kid. I practically _lived_ there during my childhood. It always seemed like the greatest place.”

Raven nodded in agreement, reaching up a hand to gently trace a constellation. After feeling Luna’s eyes on her, she turned and smiled softly. 

“That one’s Corvus. It’s Latin for raven.” 

Luna glanced up at it. It didn’t look anything like a raven to her, but she imagined that ancient people had to be creative in their names. 

“I don’t suppose there are any constellations called Luna,” she mused.

Raven looked over at her quizzically. “Maybe not, but your name does mean moon, right?”

Luna nodded quickly, feeling a little embarrassed. “Right, of course. That’s where lunar comes from. I knew that.” She paused, then continued casually. “So, I guess you’re the stars and I’m the moon.” 

Raven’s eyes twinkled, reflecting the constellations above her as she met Luna’s eyes with a smile. After a beat, Luna looked away, pointedly ignoring the flutter in her chest. 

Clarke gave a slight cough, and announced, “Hey, I think I’m gonna go see what the others are up to. Nice seeing you again, Luna.” With a smile over her shoulder, she disappeared into the crowd. 

After a moment, Raven spoke. “So… would you care to explore the solar system?”

They wandered around the exhibit for a while, exchanging interesting facts, trying to top the other in terms of incredibleness. Currently, Raven was in the lead with, “99.86% of the mass in the solar system is found in the sun,” which Luna doubted until she read the sign for herself. 

“That’s crazy!” she replied, straightening up. “When you see drawings, the sun always looks so small. Well, not small, exactly, but at least not so large that it can fit 1,300,000 planet Earths inside it.” 

“I know, right? It kind of makes you feel like everything here is so tiny, it doesn’t really matter at all,” Raven replied in awe, then chuckled. “Wow, all this makes me feel like I should quit my job as a part-time mechanic and become a philosopher instead.”

Luna laughed. “I may have to join you in that. Though I doubt I’d get payed more than I am right now. And who would want to hear metaphysical musings from someone whose last job was helping out at the sailing center by a lake filled with pollution?”

“I don’t know, I feel like you could have some deep insight into reality and existence from staring out at a dirty lake all day. Some sort of deep metaphor for life…” 

Luna giggled, then pulled a serious face. In a heavily exaggerated british accent, she drawled, “The scum on the surface of this _swamp_ is a perfect representation of the evils of this world, while we are all but lowly sailors crossing it, with little control of our vessels. However, an we are prepared with the correct tools, through hard work we may be able to catch some delight. However, as some people dislike or refuse to eat the fish— sorry, delight, we catch, some refuse the pleasures of the world because they are… are…” 

“Vegetarians?” Raven supplied, in the same posh accent.

“Vegetarians,” Luna echoed, fighting back a grin. “We must sail across this murky lake of life, never knowing when we are to reach the other side… _If there even is another side at all_.” With that, she took a mock bow and Raven golf-clapped politely. 

“Nice. Strong finish.” 

They walked around for a little while longer, until Raven stopped at a huge sketch of some sort of space phenomenon. 

“‘Cat’s Eye Nebula?’ That doesn’t look much like a cat’s eye. At least, I’m pretty sure that mine has pupils.” 

“Oh, you’ve got a cat? I’ve got a dog,” Luna said. 

“Oh, yeah, I do! Her name’s Rowena and she’s the love of my life.” Raven grabbed her phone out of her pocket and scrolled until she found a picture of a stunning Russian blue. 

“Rowena!” Luna exclaimed. 

Raven gestured to herself. “You know, Raven…” Back at the cat. “Claw…” 

“I get it. That’s amazing.” 

“So, what’s your dog’s name?”

Luna winced. Raven looked at her with a quizzical smile. 

“What? Is it… Buddy? Max? Bella? Daisy? Come on, I used to have a cat named Kitty. You can tell me.” 

Luna shook her head. “No, it’s… Captain Smoochy Von Furrypot. My little sister named him years ago.” 

Raven burst into laughter. After a minute, Luna managed a small smile. Although the mention of her sister had dampened her mood slightly, Raven’s laughter was infectious. And it was a pretty funny name. 

“I hope you take him sailing with you,” Raven offered, recovering. 

“Well, he’s the Captain. He takes _me_ sailing with _him_.” 

Raven nodded sagely. “Well, I’m sure he’s adorable. Even if I prefer cats to dogs."

Before responding, Luna glanced at her watch. “Well, that’ll be a debate for another day. I think it’s probably time for me to head home.”

Raven agreed. “I guess I’ll see you. We should grab coffee sometime. I’ll prepare my argument for the merits of cats over dogs, and you can try in vain to beat me. I’ll text you once my debate cards are ready.” With that, they said their farewells and parted ways, Raven to find Clarke, and Luna to find Lincoln. Slightly disappointed by the lack of a good-bye hug, Luna’s spirits were bolstered by this promise of further get-togethers. 

As she walked home through the dimming city with Lincoln by her side, Luna smiled to herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so eager for tomorrow to arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I've had a couple people come talk to me about this, which made me so so very happy and I appreciate all of you. I've got nine chapters figured out, just need to write them! (Easier than it sounds, right?) Now that the show's gotten.... the way it is... I really enjoy writing all this. Thanks again!


	4. The Rare and Radiant Maiden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long, I had a bout of writer's block! I've already started working on the next chapters, so they should be up sooner than this one. Not looking forward to this hiatus, bleh. But fanfic makes everything better, right???
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think! I appreciate all the feedback I've gotten, you all are the best!

It wasn’t quite the next day when the two met up again, but it was soon enough. Luna waited nervously at the quaint little coffee shop Raven had suggested via text, fiddling with her phone. Soon, she saw Raven heading towards her in a crimson sweater, leaning on her right leg as she walked. Luna waved a little as she approached.

Skipping the awkward greetings and small-talk Luna had been dreading, Raven dove right in. “Argument: Cats are better than dogs because they are smaller and easier to take care of.”

Without pausing, Luna responded, “Counter argument: Some dogs are as small as cats, and dogs do not require the cleaning of litter boxes. They are also more energetic and playful.”

“Counter-counter argument: Animals that are not constantly trying to get your attention and drag you on a walk are superior than those that do. Plus, my cat is adorable.” 

“Well, counter-counter-counter argument: I’ve got a dog, and he’s also adorable.”

“Ah, I believe we are at an impasse.” Raven rubbed her chin in exaggerated thoughtfulness. 

“Possibly, but I think that with this evidence, we can come to the conclusion that both cats and dogs have their merits, and it truly depends on the… Attitudes and attributes of the owner.” 

“A fair point. I must concede. Now, shall we treat ourselves to a caffeinated beverage at this humble establishment o’er yonder?”

As they headed inside, Luna felt much more confident than she had before, the banter cheering her up. They ordered, Raven insisting on paying because, “I invited you! It wouldn’t be fair for you to pay for yourself. My treat.” The barista, whose name tag read “Niylah” smiled at Raven as if they knew each other. 

“So, how’d you find this place?” Luna asked as they settled in, cradling her latte. “It’s a little far from your college. Were you here on a date, or something?” she added carefully, wincing inwardly at the upfrontness. Raven seemed oblivious to this, and responded casually.

“Nah, Clarke brought me here once, raving about their cappuccinos. To be honest, I think she just had a crush on the barista. I haven’t been on a date in a while.” She took a sip, then continued. “I haven’t really dated since Finn. I’ve had a few flirtationships; this guy named Wick, this girl named Gina… But things never really got serious. I guess I’m not really ready to get back out there,” Raven took a sip of her coffee, gazing off into the distance. 

“Oh. I was wondering why you weren’t— I mean, why you don’t—”

Raven was watching her, a half-smile playing across her features. “What?”

“I was curious as to why you’re single, because you’re, uh, so, um, cool,” Luna finished, barely above a whisper, her face beat red. 

Raven laughed. “Cool, that’s me. Hey, do you want a cookie or something?” she offered. Luna shook her head, her face still matching the color of Raven’s crimson sweater. “Well, be back in a second. That chocolate chip masterpiece over there is calling my name.” 

As she waited for her companion to return, Luna processed this new information. Did Raven say something about a girl named Gina? That was promising. But… Raven was against dating at the present time. Probably a bad break-up, Luna thought. So although she might be available in _that_ way, she wasn’t really available. Luna told herself that it didn’t matter. She was used to being turned down, and besides, she hadn’t _really_ allowed herself to develop feelings for this new person in her life. Platonic friendships were important too. Just being pals— That was totally enough for her. 

Then Raven came back to her seat, with a swish of her hair and a witty remark, and Luna felt her well-meaning plans begin to crumble. 

“So, how’d you end up living in this place?” Luna asked, eager to change the subject from what it had just been. “Were you born here?”

“Oh, no,” Raven responded. “I was born way up north, and lived there for most of my life. I only moved here two or three years ago.” She paused, seeming to decide whether or not to share something with Luna. After a few moments, she made up her mind. “Um, it was a little after my parents passed away, actually.”

Luna felt the mood shift, tightening the feeling in her stomach from pleasant nerves to a twisting anxiety. This was territory she wasn’t comfortable breaching yet. It still felt too soon for her to talk about her sister, and everything that came with that… But she felt that she needed to let Raven know she understood. Luna felt, deeply, all the losses from her own life. They ached every day, but she had become skilled at pushing them under a facade of happiness. And sometimes, if she kept it up long enough, that facade would flicker and become real, if only for a moment. 

“It’s hard to lose a parent at any age, let alone both of them,” Raven continued softly. “But it was so unexpected. One day they were here, the next, well…” 

Acting on an impulse, Luna reached across the table and took Raven’s hand, squeezing it gently. “Raven, I’m sorry. And I understand. My parents died when I was four. I don’t really have any memories of them. I’ve been told stories from my other relatives, but I just can’t conjure up their faces, no matter how hard I try. I miss them too, but it’s more me missing what I could have had, what could have been. It’s so much harder to lose a someone you’ve known your whole life, someone who’s been a part of it for so long.” 

She swallowed, looking away from the other girl. If Raven could tell that she was speaking from experience, she didn’t let on. Instead, she nodded, taking a sip from her mug with her free hand. 

“You just have to find solace in others. It took me ages to realize that. I was alone for such a long time. Then I found Finn. I found a new family. And after him, there were others. Abby, Clarke, Bellamy, even Murphy after a while. There are still some days it sucks. There always are. But I know that I have people who care about me, and I won’t ever be alone again.”

Luna smiled softly. “Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, each lost in thought. Luna didn’t let go of Raven’s hand, and Raven made no move to pull away. 

“You know,” Raven started, the corner of her mouth turning up into a smile. “There was this one time, when I was about eight or nine, when my parents brought me to this… metalworking convention type thing? I think they had the idea that it would be little old ladies who made jewelry out of recycled materials, or something like that. Turns out, not so much.” She chuckled, and Luna felt her heart flutter at the sound.

“Anyways, it was apparently a bunch of buff, older men who were welding giant statues out of iron tools and old car parts. My dad wanted to leave at first, but my mom insisted we stay and check things out. She was always the more adventurous. So we stayed for the afternoon. It turned out to be great, much better than we expected. Some of the guys were less than amiable, but there were a bunch who were just big goofballs, really passionate about the art and whatever they were making. Much to my dad’s chagrin, one of them let me use one of the big power tools. In hindsight, probably not a good idea to give an eight year old something that dangerous, but I had such a good time. It was a great experience, all of it. 

“Anyways, we finished up that day with a lot of good memories and one or two little trinkets. I still have some of them,” she finished. At this, Luna wondered whether the little metal necklace she had seen Raven wearing came from this event, or from somewhere else. She decided not to ask. Instead, she focused, trying to come up with a single anecdote to respond with. It was difficult. 

“I think…” Luna paused, scrunching up her forehead in concentration. “I have this vague memory, this wisp of something… Maybe it’s not real. Maybe I imagined it. But it _feels_ genuine.” She gazed into her cup. “It’s not much, just me and my parents on our boat. It’s sunset, and the stars are just beginning to come out. There’s a breeze. My mom is looking out over the water, and my dad looks down and— and he smiles at me. That’s it. Just a smile.” She tried to picture his face, framed against a horizon of swirling colors, but it kept slipping away. Did he have a beard, as her uncle used to claim? Or was he baby-faced, clean-shaven, like her aunt insisted? She just didn’t know. There had been no pictures growing up. 

“It’s not much, but I think it’s the only memory I have of both of them.” She glanced up and met Raven’s eyes. To her surprise, the other girl looked enthralled in her short story, smiling softly. Luna had expected a look of pity, maybe disappointment, not this— affection? 

Feeling her hand grow warm, (and, god forbid, sweaty) she withdrew it hastily from the other’s, on the pretense of downing some more of her beverage. 

“Um, so, how’s school going?” she asked, a little too quickly. Raven didn’t seem to notice, and sipped her own drink before answering. 

“Oh, awesome but stressful. We just got into this big project on rocket fuel. I get to make things go ‘boom.’ It’s the best, but also a lot of work. 

They continued in this vein for a little while longer. School, pets, Raven reminisced about the mischievous exploits of Murphy, and some others called Monty and Jasper. Luna found herself growing a little worried about being introduced to the rest of Raven’s friends, but Raven insisted that they meant it all in good fun.

“We all really love each other, even if it doesn’t seem like it sometimes. Circumstances threw us together, and they’ve kept us together ever since.” She paused. “You know, Clarke’s having a bunch of her work in an art-show at this gallery near the lake next weekend. She’s really good, even if she does exclusively landscapes,” Raven mentioned. 

“No way!” Luna exclaimed. “I think Lincoln’s got some pieces in that too! He basically does sketches of flowers and some portraits, mostly of his friends. I think he’s even got one of me in it. He’s great.”

“What? That’s so awesome. I doubt I could ever get Clarke to draw me. She sketched one of Lexa, which was pretty cool. She’s super proud of it.” Raven grinned. “Hey, we should go together. Support our artsy friends.”

“Oh, totally! I’d love to see what Clarke can do. And I haven’t seen my infamous portrait, so I definitely need to see whether or not Lincoln captured my supreme beauty.” Luna struck a ridiculous pose, cracking Raven up. She grinned back, her heart full of the other girl’s laughter. 

As Raven composed herself again, she said, “Well, that sounds like a lot of fun. I should probably get a head-start on making things explode in the name of science, so I might head out. We can talk more about this art exhibit later. I’ll text you?”

Luna smiled and nodded wordlessly, giving a small wave as Raven headed out the door of the little shop. She sat for a minute in silence before pulling herself up out of her own chair. Luna had one thing to admit to herself: She was falling for the radiant, unique, and brilliant Raven Reyes, and she was falling _hard_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment or come talk to me @mythicalquill on tumblr! (Also, if you've got any recommendations for a fic you wrote or just one you like, let me know! I'm always looking for more to read.


	5. In the Bleak December

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is about twice as long as my other chapters, but I was home sick and had a lot of sea mech feelings, so here you go. (Maybe this should be two chapters???) The art exhibit wasn't part of my original master plan, but I liked the idea and ran with it for the first part of this, then kept going with my original idea.  
> This chapter has some linctavia too, some definite sea mechanic shipping on Lincoln's part, and a couple puns that I am overly proud of. Enjoy!

Raven kept her word, and the two of them attending the art exhibit together the following weekend. Raven leaned towards the more abstract pieces, exclaiming about their meanings and symbolism. To Luna, they just seemed like a bunch of shapes and colors stuck together, but it made her happy to see Raven so passionate and excited. Personally, she preferred the more realistic pieces, goggling at the way artists could manipulate their mediums to mirror reality. The highlights, shadows, reflections— For her, those were what made a piece of art truly great.

Clarke and Lincoln chatted animatedly with each other, exchanging tips and critiquing works of art together. The organizer of the event, an elderly man who Clarke identified as Dante Wallace, wandered amongst the crowd, occasionally stopping to inspect a piece or two with his sharp eyes. Raven and Luna steered clear of him. 

“He gives me the creeps,” Raven whispered when they were a safe distance away. Luna shushed her.

“I’d bet you anything that he’s got supersonic hearing, I wouldn’t risk it,” she whispered back, then raised her voice slightly. “Wow, that Dante Wallace really has an eye for for masterpieces. I’ve heard he’s the best art critic around. Spectacular. Amazing. Phenomanal.”

A few people around them gave the pair strange glances, but Raven’s grin was worth it. 

“He just emits warmth and compassion, you know? You can tell what a wonderful person he is from the gentleness in his eyes. He definitely does _not_ look like a blood-sucking vampire,” she added seriously. 

“Speaking of vampires, I _bat_ you’re ready to go check out some more of Lincoln’s work.”

“I’d _stake_ my reputation on it.”

“Darn, that was better. You’re a pain in the neck.”

Raven grinned. “You’re just itching to see your portrait, aren’t you?”

“Yeaaah,” Luna whined, smiling back. 

“Let’s get going, then. Besides, that room has a huge window. Pretty sure Wallace would melt when exposed to that much natural light. We can make our escape.”

They walked into the brightly lit room and stopped in front of a small painting in a simple frame. Luna was taken aback. She knew Lincoln mostly did nature and portraits, but she hadn’t expected them to be combined into a single piece. It was her, that she could tell, but made from different elements of the Earth. Fire, water, earth, and, well… sky? She frowned. 

“It doesn’t really look like me, does it?” Luna didn’t know what she had been expecting, probably a simplistic pencil sketch like the one Clarke had done of Lexa, which Raven had pointed out to her earlier. She could tell that this piece was expertly done, meticulous strokes of the brush, but she still wasn’t sure what to think. Raven stepped closer to examine it, raising her hand so her fingers hovered near the paint without touching it. 

“I don’t know… It kind of does. He captured the motion of your hair, the way it cascades down your shoulders, mixing with the curls and different shades of color, like a raging fire. Your skin is smooth, cooler, calm as the water. Plus, from what I’ve heard, the ocean is a big part of your life, so, naturally, it should be featured heavily. The crest of a wave for your mouth is a nice touch, as are the islands capturing the slope of your nose. The earth in the background gives a sense of your being grounded, down to Earth.” She turned to face Luna, gazing at her with such a curious intensity that it took everything Luna had not to look down.

“Your eyes are warm and bright, full of the universe, so of course they’re speckled with stars. I, personally, would’ve made the moon symbolism more prominent, as it does connect to your name,” she mentioned thoughtfully. “But I can see why he would leave it out, going for a more symmetrical effect that would be hard to produce by including that single celestial body.”

Luna was at a loss for words. _Don’t read too far into this,_ she told herself. _Raven’s got an artistic eye. Earlier, she was waxing lyrical about a pile of shapes that were supposed to represent a bicycle. It doesn’t mean anything that the way she describes you— No, not even you, a painting_ loosely _based on you— is so… poetic? Animated? Heartfelt?_

“Wow, you’ve become quite the art critic,” she managed after a minute. “I thought you said Clarke was the artsy friend?”

Raven shrugged. “I _do_ know beauty when I see it.” With that, she strode away to examine another piece, leaving Luna tingling with wonder. _What just happened?_

The exhibit wrapped up shortly after that, leaving Luna to meticulously scour the evening’s events in her mind as she walked home, occasionally interrupted by Lincoln, who was chatting happily to her about all the different works of art he’d seen. She was glad that he got along well with Raven, and Clarke too. Despite the occasional disagreement in opinion, it was nice for her to have a friend who was as eager as her to get to know this strange new group of people. 

And, as the months passed, the two of them did begin to become part of the group. They learned their names, their stories, (Luna was skeptical that all of these were true), their relationships with each other, and began to develop their own. Raven and Luna especially, grew closer and closer, although not quite the way Luna would have liked. They saw each other a few times a week, mostly with the others. It turned out they had a few mutual friends. The next time they met up, Luna recognized Lexa, a girl she had gone to school with until Luna had decided to drop out. She had seen her chatting with Clarke at the museum exhibit, and her picture at the art show, and the two caught up a bit later. Group hangouts grew more and more regular, and while Luna enjoyed them immensely, she did wish she could have Raven to herself more often. 

She noticed Lincoln becoming closer with the dark-haired girl in braids, who she now learned was named Octavia. She couldn’t quite explain it, but there was something about Octavia that just got on Luna’s nerves, something that kept them from becoming good friends. She was happy for Lincoln, though. He seemed to really like this girl. And despite the occasional nasty look from her brother, she appeared to like him back.

One day, in the middle of December, Luna noticed that the group’s group chat was blowing up with messages. She scrolled through them. They all seemed to be about a holiday party, and everyone was very intense about it. 

**octavia:** i stg murphy if you mess up the cookies for the 3rd year in a row, i will hunt you down 

**murphy:** why do you keep asking me to bake them then????? u would think after all this u would finally get the message about not trusting me with responsibility

**clarke:** its cuz we all know your the best cook outta all of us 

**murphy:** *you’re

**clarke:** ….murphy i stg

**murphy:** fine 

**murphy:** ill do it

**octavia:** yesssssssss

**lincoln:** neato

**lincoln:** Guys I’m setting up a secret santa thing it’s gonna be awesomeeeee

**lincoln:** I’ll pull names and text ya with who ya get

**jasper:** darn im broke af so whoever i get is gonna be the proud new owner some nice odds and ends i find on my floor

**raven:** Cool beans

**raven:** Is everybody able to make it????

**raven:** This year the blakes are our lovely hosts 

**octavia:** yeah but yall are helping clean up or we’re never hosting another party again

**jasper:** maybe that’s for the best

**jasper:** bell isn’t exactly known for his exquisite taste in music

**bellamy:** excuse you i’ll haVE YOU KNOW THAT THE BEATLES ARE SUPERIOR TO EVERY OTHER BAND THAT HAS EVER DARED TO SHOW THEIR FACE ON THIS GODFORSAKEN PLANET AND BLAckbird is my life

**octavia:** bell shhh shh its okay 

Luna chuckled, checked her calendar, and texted her RSVP. It sounded like fun, and maybe it would be another opportunity to talk to Raven alone. Besides, she had tasted Murphy’s cooking. Those cookies were going to be phenomenal, if he didn’t conspire with Emori to poison the entire group.

Her phone buzzed again, this time a private text from Lincoln. “You’re buying for Raven, have fun.” Luna grinned at the message, but her excitement slowly faded into anxiety at the thought of finding the perfect gift. It had to be something that Raven would love, but it couldn’t seem like she was trying too hard. It had to be the perfect mix of casual and thoughtful… Jewelry? Giftcard? T-shirt? Poster? Board game? Two-seater rocketship? No, no, all no. She sighed, and resigned herself to a shopping trip. 

The next day, she found herself back at the bookstore where she and Raven had first met. She had just left the mall, unimpressed by the majority of the merchandise. (She did buy a squeaky dog toy for Captain, but there was nothing there that stood out for her human recipient. Unless, unbeknownst to her, Raven enjoyed peanut-butter-and-chicken-flavored dog treats.) The bookstore was much cooler now than it had been in the fall, and Luna was enjoying herself as she perused the shelves. 

There were lots of books that looked interesting to her, but she wasn’t sure what Raven would prefer. Did she like mystery? Romance? Sci-fi would probably be a safe guess, but Luna wasn’t positive. Stopping by the nonfiction section, she paged through a tedious book on mechanics. Raven almost certainly knew all this stuff already. 

Then something caught her eye. A book with stars on its cover. She grabbed it off the shelf— A guide to constellations. Huh. She flipped through it, taking in the rich illustrations, facts, myths, and scientific info. This might just be as close to the perfect thing as she was going to get. She remembered their trip to the space exhibit, how Raven had traced the stars gently, connecting with them somehow. Now she would be able to carry them around with her wherever she went. Perfect.

On an impulse, Luna grabbed a star-studded bookmark off the rack near the checkout and set it down on top of the book. After paying, she flipped through once more until she found the page she was looking for. “ _Corvus is a small constellation in the Southern Celestial Hemisphere. Its name means "Raven" in Latin…_ ” She stuck the bookmark there and shut the volume with a smile. 

The party was just like Luna had expected it to be. Chaotic, disorganized, loud, and really, really fun. The desserts, to everyone’s delight, were delicious and carefully decorated. Luna was sure that some more threats (and possibly bribery) had gone on behind the scenes. Everyone seemed to be having a great time. Before she knew it, Lincoln was gathering everyone together to exchange gifts. 

Octavia got a butterfly notebook from her brother, Clarke, colored pencils courtesy of Wells, and Monty was the delighted new owner of Jasper’s box of tissues, broken pencil sharpener, and pair of earbuds. Then it was Luna’s turn. With a confident smile that in no way reflected her thoughts, she handed over her carefully-wrapped gift, which Raven tugged open neatly. Her eyes lit up when she saw the book. 

“Luna! That’s so sweet!” she exclaimed, and pulled her in for a hug. Luna grinned happily against her shoulder. _Phew._

“I guess it’s my turn now,” Raven said after they pulled apart. “Funny thing that we got each other.” With a smile, she handed Luna a present with midnight-blue wrapping paper. 

Luna took it off. The wrapping paper fell away to reveal a small case. When she opened it, Luna gasped audibly. “A telescope?” she asked, incredulous. “Aren’t these really expensive?” 

Raven shook her head. “Oh, no, don’t worry. I got a discount, I shop there all the time. And this one’s small and portable, which makes it easier to use. I thought it might be nice for you to bring it out on your boat sometime; you’d probably have a good view of the stars, or the sea, or the sunset, or something.” 

“I love it. This is incredible.”

“You guys are so in sync,” Lincoln put in from the side. “A telescope to see the constellations, and a book to identify them. Wow.” 

“We should definitely use them together sometime,” Raven agreed.

“Of course! Yes!” Luna said, not caring if she was coming off too eagerly. “That would be great.” 

As the rest of the group moved on to the remaining gifts, Luna kept looking down at her own. The sleek black tube and eyepiece, the detached spindly legs, the silver logo emblazoned on the side… It was amazing. After the gift exchange was over, she tucked it away safely for the rest of the party, and grabbed a soda from the cooler, a happy feeling in her chest. 

Lincoln made his way over to her through the crowd, and pulled her aside, away from where Raven was standing. 

“Hey, would you mind helping me with something in the kitchen?” he asked. Luna nodded and followed him away, giving a small wave back at Raven. 

“Did you see Octavia? She looks really good tonight,” Lincoln said dreamily as they entered the room, closing the door behind him. 

“Why don’t you two get together already?” she asked, taking a sip from her soda. 

“I could say the same thing about you and Raven,” Lincoln countered, taking Luna by surprise. Instead of being as indignantly dignified as she would’ve liked, she choked on her soda. She set it down heavily on the countertop, succumbing to a coughing fit. Lincoln waited patiently for it to subside.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she managed eventually. 

He raised his eyebrow. “Come on, I've told you how I felt about Octavia. And if that reaction was anything to go by, I’d say you haven’t been entirely honest with me about your own feelings.”

“No, of course not, we’re not, I mean, I don’t, she isn’t—” Luna spluttered, fully aware that she was incriminating herself further. 

“Luna Nadia Flouku. You know you’ve never been a very good liar. Remember that time Nyko was planning my surprise party, and you kept the secret for a solid two minutes? It’s a good thing I had already heard about it, or he would’ve set upon you with the wrath of a thousand suns. It’s a wonder you haven’t confessed your love tenfold.” He paused. “Especially with my help!”

Luna squinted at him curiously, not quite understanding. Then it dawned on her. “Oh my god. You were in charge of secret santa. Lincoln, did you rig it?”

Lincoln looked away innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Luna smirked, amused despite herself. “Now who’s the bad liar? Do you actually even need help with something in here?”

“Okay, fine, no, and I _may_ have had you two picked for each other. But only because I wanted you both to have an excuse to buy each other presents and bond. Come on, I was only trying to help.”

“Okay, I’m not going to be mad at you, because that telescope is pretty sick. But if you do anything like that again, I’m showing Octavia the sonnet you wrote for her.”

“No, come on, I was saving that for our wedding day—”

Luna laughed and started backing towards the door. “Gotta make a move first!” 

“Right back at you!” 

With that, she opened the door and slipped back out into the chatter of the others. She noticed Raven standing near the back, in between conversations. She headed over.  
“Hey, what did Lincoln need help with? I thought we were pretty much set back there,” Raven asked when she approached.

“Nothing, it was basically a not-so-elaborate ruse to talk to me. You know, he’s got a _massive_ crush on Octavia.”

Raven snorted. “Yeah, it seems like all us delinquents have at one time or another. Pretty sure she likes him back, though. He should go for it.”

Luna shook her head, gazing over at where Octavia stood, absorbed in conversation with a slim, dark-skinned girl with highlights in her hair. Gaia, wasn’t it? 

“He should, yeah,” she agreed. 

Luna didn’t understand Octavia. Her darkness, the cloud she seemed to carry with her wherever she went. Maybe she hadn’t always been this way. Luna had seen pictures throughout the house of a much younger girl, red ribbon in her hair, arms around her brother, big smile on her face. Maybe being with Lincoln would help both of them, help remind Octavia of the girl she used to be, make her that way again. Or maybe this was just Luna’s cynicism talking. Maybe Octavia could be happy the way she was. Maybe she just needed to find someone who would love her and make sure she stayed that way— Happy, that is. Not ignore or erase the burdens of her life, just help to carry them along. Maybe that was what everyone needed… 

Luna looked back to find Raven watching her carefully, as if she could read her very thoughts, a slight smile turning up the corners of her mouth. Luna took a deep breath, steeled herself, and began to speak, her tone hesitant. 

“Hey, I was wondering—” 

“Hey, all! Everybody gather round for the annual holiday skit, put on by yours truly!” Jasper bellowed from the other side of the room, cutting Luna off. She groaned inwardly. 

“And other people too,” Monty amended from his place at Jasper’s shoulder. 

Jasper rolled his eyes. “Put on by me, with some _minuscule_ help from my supporting cast of inferior actors.”

‘Jordan, you have one line!” Murphy called out from where he stood with his arm around Emori, who was smirking slightly at this exchange. 

Jasper pointed at him emphatically. “Not true! I get to introduce it! In fact, you’re magnifying my part the more you complain, so I’d hurry up and get on over here, Murph.”

With a grumble, Murphy removed his arm from his girlfriend and sauntered over. Raven turned back to Luna with a gleam in her eye. 

“Oh, this is always so much fun, we need to watch. Talk about it after?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Luna lied easily. 

She knew they wouldn’t; the moment was gone. Luna cursed her timing quietly as she watched Raven move gracefully away to a better vantage point, her eyes sparkling in the fairy lights, smile dazzling. They wouldn’t have that talk yet, but maybe soon…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I _love love love_ hearing from you guys, in comments or at my tumblr, @mythicalquill! Thanks for reading!


	6. Deep Into That Darkness Peering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are more typos or spacing issues with this one, I typed it on a new computer where the keys seem to be farther apart or something, and uploaded it on my phone! Let me know if you catch anything, I’d like to make sure it’s fixed! Thanks, and enjoy! (Also, sorry this is late, I had to obtain the aforementioned new computer, which took quite a while.)

As often happened when Luna forgot to mute her group chat, she was woken in the morning a few weeks after the holiday party by a torrent of notifications. She groaned quietly, but forced herself out of bed. She had the day off of work, and she had been meaning to get a head start on one of her assignments. But first, she should probably see what all the ruckus was about.

After scrolling through an unexpectedly large amount of messages between Bellamy, Jasper, Harper and Octavia discussing the merits of different pop stars, which somehow segwayed into analyzation of Shakespearian sonnets, she reached the current conversation.

**jasper:** YO MY DUDES GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT

**clarke:** u finally decided to pursue ur passion as a cement truk driver in utah?????

**murphy:** you’re moving to an island in the middle of the pacific with no cell reception!!!!!

**jasper:** no... I got tickets to a roan  & the azgedans concert and you two are no longer invited

**clarke:** what???? omg!!!

**murphy:** I take it all back you’re an angel

**jasper:** ik I am

**octavia:** omg they’re the best yesss

**monty:** you better have enough tickets for me to come too or I will never give you any of my chocolate cake again do you hear me

**jasper:** dont worry hon theres enough for all

**jasper:** raven? you coming? 

**jasper:** they used to be your absolute favorite band right

There was a lull in the conversation while Jasper waited for a response, so Luna pulled up her laptop to google the band. Upon further research, they turned out to play alternative rock. After a listen, she decided that even if it wasn’t exactly her taste, the music seemed pretty cool. She wondered if she was even invited. She and the others had now been friends for a while, but they all had known each other long before her, and maybe the offer was just for fans of the band. Her phone dinged and she saw that Raven had replied.

**raven:** Sorry, I don’t think I can.

**raven:** I stayed up really late last night prepping for this job interview today, and it’s at 5

**raven:** Sorry

**jasper:** come onnnnn the concert’ll be over by 1 that’s plenty of time

**octavia:** yeahhh

**raven:** Guys I don’t think so

Luna sighed. If Raven wasn’t going, she wasn’t entirely sure if she wanted to either. But then again, it would be good for her to get out of the house and hang out with her friends, right? That assignment could wait. First, she would need to make sure she was actually invited. 

**luna:** can I come? I haven’t heard of the band before but it seems cool

**octavia:** yeah of course, but now you HAVE to come, raven

**octavia:** someone needs to teach this azgedans newbie their wonders and ur the expert

**clarke:** it’ll be fun, it’ll get your mind off of that interview

**jasper:** pleaaaaaaaaaaase

**lincoln:** yeah raven join us I love the azgedans

**luna:** it would be fun if you could come!!!

**raven:** Fine. 

It was decided, then. Luna would go. 

When she got there, everyone else was busy chatting excitedly. The group had brought blankets and chairs and were sitting a distance from the stage. Luna was thankful— she would like to still have her hearing after this was over. As she approached, she saw that Raven was wearing a pretty dress, and Luna got worried that she was underdressed until she noticed everybody else in t-shirts and jeans. _It must be for the job interview,_ Luna realized.

As nice as Raven looked from far away (had Luna ever seen her dressed up like this?), when she got closer she realized how tired the girl looked. There were dark smudges under her eyes from lack of sleep, and her mouth was turned down into a frown, forehead crinkled in discomfort.

Luna smiled at her, but received only a slight grimace in response. 

“Hey, glad you could make it,” Clarke offered as she made her way to Raven. 

“Yeah, well, I probably would’ve been gladder if my friends respected it when I said I didn’t want to do something,” she responded icily, rubbing her forehead.

“Jeez, Reyes, take it easy,” Murphy remarked at Luna’s shoulder. 

Luna could hear Raven mutter something that sounded suspiciously like, “Shut up, Murphy,” but she couldn’t quite tell. She scrunched her eyebrows in concern, hesitating to ask whether something was wrong. She decided against it. Raven had seemed stressed and tired over text that morning, but this was one of the few times Luna had seen her snap at her friends. She decided to give her some space and hope the concert cheered her up. 

It took some time, but eventually the Azgedans took the stage. Luna raised her eyebrows at their white face paint, but her doubts were erased when the band’s leader, Roan, launched into his first song, “Icy Heart.”

“Let’s hear it for Echo on the drums!” he called out when the number was finished and everyone began to cheer wildly. Luna joined in, happily clapping along. She glanced over at Raven, who she could see was smiling weakly, but whose eyebrows were drawn together in unease. Was the music too loud for her? 

Luna kept her eyes on her, considering suggesting that they move a little farther away, when Roan and the Azgedans began playing the opening notes of “Drowned in Your Love.” She saw Raven’s eyes widen, then someone in the crowd jostle her as they moved to their seat, then Murphy remark something loudly that she couldn’t quite catch. As she watched, the song bursting into a fast-tempoed beat thudding through her ears, Raven squeezed her eyes closed. Luna saw her grow pale and shiver despite the warmth and closeness of the crowd.

Now seriously worried, Luna maneuvered towards her. Now closeby, she could hear as Raven gasped for breath, eyes opened again and staring around wildly, shining with unshed tears. 

“What’s wrong?” Luna asked breathlessly as she reached her. Raven shook her head wordlessly, shaking harder now. It made Luna’s heart hurt to see how helpless she looked, scared and alone in the crowd. 

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay. Do you want to take a walk?” She placed a hand comfortingly on Raven’s shoulder, and could feel her shaking slightly. Raven nodded, her dark ponytail bobbing up and down. “We’ll be back in a bit,” Luna mouthed over her shoulder to Clarke and the others, a few of whom were watching the pair with concern, most absorbed in the music and oblivious to what was going on. She saw Clarke nod in reply. 

Luna maneuvered effortlessly through the crowd with Raven by her side, watching her closely. She made sure to keep one hand on Raven’s arm at all times, and soon they were free of the hordes of people and walking down a sidewalk. The thumping rhythm of the music faded away into a constant, steady hum, and Luna thought she felt Raven’s breathing grow slightly less erratic. 

Luna didn’t really know where they were going, but she knew that she wanted to help Raven however she could. The other girl was seeming slightly calmer already, but the occasional tear streaked down her face, and she was still shivering despite the unusually warm weather. Maybe they should find a place to sit down. Just as she thought this, Luna noticed a small park across the street, riddled with benches amidst the large patches of green. A few joggers and dog-walkers were passing through, but it seemed mostly quiet. 

“Is it okay to sit down over there? I know you’re not much of a dog person,” Luna half-joked. Raven smiled weakly. 

“Yeah, sure,” she managed, the first words she had spoken since they left the group. Luna was glad to hear them. 

“Great.” They settled themselves onto a bench. Luna felt like she was hovering, wanting to offer support but understanding that Raven might just need space. They sat for a few minutes, Raven taking careful, measured breaths to help calm herself down. It was clear that she had experience with this situation, and Luna was glad to see that her methods were working. 

After some time had passed. Raven took a deep breath, released it, and spoke. “I’m sorry you’re missing the concert for me. I didn’t mean to inconvenience you, or anything like that.” 

“It’s okay, our bodies just suck sometimes. I get it,” Luna reassured her. “Besides, that Roan guy was kind of getting on my nerves with his falsetto,” she added with an attempt at levity. Raven didn’t bite, but remained serious, the corners of her mouth turned down. 

“I know, but I’m sorry, it’s just…” Raven gestured helplessly, then dropped her hands to her lap, her eyes gazing downwards. 

“You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to. And you definitely don’t need to be sorry.”

“Okay. But… I kind of want to. Talk about it, I mean.” 

Luna nodded wordlessly. “It’s totally up to you.” 

“Yeah. It’s just— I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. Well, make that any sleep. And I was super stressed about this job interview I’ve got later, and it’s really important, and probably life changing, and all of a sudden...” She paused, flinching slightly. Luna reached out and gently put her hand above the small of Raven’s back. When Raven didn’t pull away, she began to softly rub the girl’s tired body, keeping her touch light. Raven leaned into her slightly, her head resting on Luna’s shoulder as she continued to speak quietly.   
“All of a sudden, there were too many people, the noises were too loud, and the song— well, the song brought back some memories that I’d rather not have to think about. I used to listen to them all the time, years ago.”

Luna was curious, but knew better than to press her for information. She kept quiet, not sure if Raven was going to keep talking. After a few seconds, she did.

“It was just all these things on top of each other, and I was just so tired and frustrated and stressed and then Murphy just made a snide comment because that’s what Murphy does, and the music was so loud and everyone was too close, and I guess I just kind of freaked out. I had to get out of there. I just wasn’t— I couldn’t—” 

“I get it. I do,” Luna murmured. “I know how it feels. And don’t feel bad about it, it’s just this thing that human bodies do when they’re under a lot of stress, or didn’t get enough sleep, or something silly makes them think they’re under threat or something. But you’re safe here.”

She saw Raven close her eyes and take a deep breath, her head heavy against Luna’s shoulder. Luna kept rubbing small circles against her back, her skin warm to the touch. 

“Do you want to talk about the job interview?” she asked. “I already know you’re going to do great, but I could reassure you further if I knew the details. Unless that’s too stressful.”

“No, I think that might be nice. Get it off my chest.” After a second collecting her thoughts, Raven spoke for a bit about the job she was applying for, Luna listening and responding occasionally. The gist of it was that it was difficult, technical, sciency, and would involve lots of work, but also play to Raven’s skills. And Luna knew she liked a challenge. But while talking about the job, Raven kept hesitating, which made Luna wonder if she was getting the full story. She didn’t press, of course, because whatever details Raven was leaving out were probably because they could stress her even more. 

“I guess I’m just worried that they’re going to think I’m underqualified,” Raven finished.

“How could they, when you’re the one and only Raven Reyes?” Luna asked incredulously. 

Raven smiled at this, small and genuine. “Thanks. I _am_ pretty awesome, aren’t I? Although I do think I’ve gotten mail intended for someone living on the other side of the planet, so maybe not the one and only.”

Luna smiled back. “Your interview’s at what— Five? You know, that’s plenty of time for you to get some rest at my place. I live, like, two blocks away. I promise you, my couch is the coziest thing you will ever touch. Plus I’ve got an inordinate amount of blankets. And… I think you need some sleep.”

Raven opened her mouth, brow furrowed, but Luna cut her off. “No arguments. I think it’s time you see my place anyways. Not to brag, but I have quite the seashell collection.”  
Raven let out a breath. “Okay, fine. But only because I need to see if your perfect pooch lives up to his hype.” 

“Oh, trust me, Captain Smoochy Von Furrypot will have you eating out of his paw before you can say ‘I’m-more-of-a-cat-person.’ You’ll love him.”

“We’ll see, dog-lover.” 

After getting up off the bench, they walked slowly back to Luna’s apartment. Luna tried to be as in tune as possible to how Raven was feeling, making sure her breathing stayed normal and she was feeling calmer. She watched Raven keep her eyes on the sidewalk, making small talk and smiling occasionally. The reached the apartment shortly, Luna fumbling with her keys and letting the pair in. 

Raven looked around as they entered, taking in the soft pastel blues and greens, the various books scattered around messily, the seashells cluttering a shelf. “Wow, your place is nice. But where’s the celebrated canine captain?”

“Captain! Here, boy!” Luna called out. Immediately, the golden retriever rushed out of her bedroom and towards the pair, whining excitedly at Raven.

“Yeah, good boy, this is Raven,” Luna told him. “She doesn’t really like dogs, so you have to be on your best behavior and give her your cutest eyes. Can you do that for me, buddy? No, Captain— Wow, I’m sorry about that. _Bad_ Captain. Don’t lick the guests.” 

Raven was giggling, though, rubbing the naughty dog’s soft ears. “It’s fine, he’s cute enough to get away with it.”

“I’m glad.” 

As they stepped further into the room, Luna spread her arms in a mock grand gesture, motioning to the couch. “This is it, the fabled sofa. I can wake you up at… Well, does four thirty sound good?”

Raven hesitated, then nodded, sitting herself down amidst the blankets. Captain scurried over to her and sat down by her feet. “That sounds perfect. Thanks again for letting me crash here, I appreciate it.”

Luna grinned at her. “No problem whatsoever. I’ll be in the other room if you need anything. Sleep tight.” With that, she switched off the light and headed into the other room, leaving the door open a crack. She watched through the sliver as Raven settled in, curling up into the layers of blankets. She saw her fall asleep quickly, her breathing slowing and her face softening. Luna felt a twinge in her heart and turned away, determined not to spend the next few hours gazing out at her, as she knew she might do if she didn’t absorb herself in her work. She pulled up her class’s assignment on her laptop and got to typing, keeping one eye on the clock and ignoring the soaring in her chest. 

At about two o’clock, her phone rang. She answered it quickly, worried that it would disturb the girl in the other room if she let it keep ringing. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Clarke. The concert ended and we’re all at the Blake’s. Are you with Raven? I texted her but didn’t get an answer. Is everything okay?”

“All’s good with Raven, don’t worry. She’s taking a nap at my place before her interview.”

“Oh, okay, great. The others are here, I’ll let them know, they were worried. Thanks for helping out.”

“It was fine, I’m just glad she’s feeling better. And she finally got to meet my dog.”

She could hear Clarke chuckle on the other end. “You’ll have to bring him over sometime, I’m sure the group would love him.” 

“Will do, though I’ll have to make sure Bellamy doesn’t try and adopt him. Talk to you later!” Luna said goodbye, hung up, and turned back to her work.

At around 4:24, Luna figured that she should probably wake Raven up. She stood from her half-finished project and opened the door, gazing out. She looked so peaceful… Captain had curled up on the floor next to her, draped under one of the blankets falling off the side of the couch. Luna was tempted to take a picture of the tranquil scene, but didn’t know if Raven would mind. She decided against it, instead drawing back the curtains and letting in some light. Raven stirred slightly, but didn’t wake. 

Luna walked past her into the kitchen and poured out a glass of water. Maybe she should’ve given her something to drink before she had settled in, Raven was probably a little dehydrated. She brought the glass into the other room and set it down, sitting herself down on the arm of the couch. She began to rub Raven’s shoulder gently. 

“Hey, Raven, it’s time to get up. It’s almost four thirty.”

Raven stirred again, then slowly opened her eyes, blinking in the light. She focused on Luna, who smiled down at her. 

“Hey, how you feeling?” Luna asked when she saw that she was awake.

“Okay,” Raven replied sleepily. “A little thirsty.”

Grinning, Luna grabbed the glass from the table and handed it to her as she sat up. “I thought you might be. Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah, you weren’t lying about the quality of your couch. And you have just the right amount of blankets.”

“Yeah, I think Captain enjoyed them too.” At the mention of his name, Captain jumped to his feet and stared at her with big puppy eyes, causing them both to burst into laughter. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Luna offered after they finished giggling, as Raven sipped her water. “Are you ready for your interview? Nervous?”

“You know what?” Raven responded after a pause. “I think I’m ready. I’ve done everything I can to prepare, and all I can do now is just go in there and knock their socks off.” 

“That’s a great way of looking at it. I know you’ll be _amazing,_ and they’d be fools if they didn’t hire you. You’re incredible. I mean it.”

Raven looked up from her glass, and Luna froze at the sudden eye contact. Was what she just said weird? Surely it seemed like a purely platonic thing; she was just offering some emotional support to a friend in need. It couldn’t look like anything else to the girl sitting across from her. Don’t let anything in your face give it away, just keep eye contact like a normal human being, _oh god look at her eyes they’re so beautiful, oh my god—_

Finally, _finally,_ Raven spoke. “Thank you. I mean that, too. For everything.” 

“You’re welcome.”

Luna kept that ‘thank you’ ringing through her head while Raven got herself ready and left, and it stayed there hours after, when Luna was alone in her apartment. Raven wasn’t perfect, of course, no one was. She had her faults, and her insecurities, and her bad days, and she preferred cats to dogs. But love, Luna thought to herself as she gazed off into the distance beside her discarded assignment, wasn’t about finding the perfect person. Nor was it about finding someone with imperfections and changing those one by one to fit your idealized standards. It was about connecting with someone else, and learning these faults, and these flaws, and understanding and accepting them for what they were. Maybe help them to move past, or rise above, or change, if that’s what they needed, but to do it for them. Not yourself. And Luna wanted nothing more than to discover every little detail about this incredible woman, Raven Reyes, and to learn exactly what made her _her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was partly based off of the scene from 4x06, and partly based off of my own experiences and stuff, so I hope it turned out? If not, let me know what I could do to improve it. Thank you for sticking with me even with my erratic updating schedule! I've been looking forward to next week's chapter for a while. ;)  
> Come talk to me @mythicalquill on tumblr!


	7. Presently My Soul Grew Stronger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is “deep heart-to-heart” chapter, because apparently that’s what I was in the mood for. We get a little more backstory on each, too. Only one or two chapters left, depending on how long they end up being! Thank you to whoever’s still reading, and thank you for all your lovely comments! They make my day!

Luna didn’t hear from Raven until the next day. Apparently the interview had gone well, but not as _perfectly_ as Raven had hoped, and she had gone home and slept for almost twelve straight hours afterwards. It was mid-afternoon, and Luna was sitting at home with Captain, chatting with Raven on her lunch break. 

“That’s impressive,” Luna said. 

“I know, right? Pretty sure I haven’t gotten more than six or seven for like the past two years.”

“Wow. How have you survived this long?”

“Caffeine and power-naps. Tried and true.”

“Of course. Oh, when do you hear back about the interview?” Luna asked.

“Ah, pretty late tonight,” Raven responded. “They told me not to wait up, that they’ll probably just leave a message, but there is _no way_ I’ll be able to get to sleep. So… I’m just planning on binging CW shows until I either crash or get the call.”

Luna paused for a moment, considering her next words. “As appealing as that sounds, I think I might have a better idea,” she said eventually.

“Well, I’m totally open to suggestions. What’ve you got?”

“Meet me outside my place at seven. Bring that book of constellations that I got you for Secret Santa.” 

“Ooh, mysterious. Any more details I should know, or is this some sort of surprise?”

“Surprise. Wait, one more thing— You like Chinese food, right?”

“Can’t get enough of it,” Raven assured her. 

“Splendid.” There was some noise on the other end as someone spoke to Raven. Luna waited patiently for her to return, scratching Captain behind the ears as she did. 

“Sorry, my break’s over,” Raven apologized into the phone after a moment. “I’ll see you at seven, okay? Looking forward to whatever craziness you’ve got planned.”

“See you then. Bye.” As Luna ended the call, she smiled to herself. This was going to be a night to remember.

At seven o’clock sharp, Luna heard a knock on her door. She opened it to reveal Raven, looking stunning as ever in a sleeveless top and jeans. With a smile, Luna noticed a streak of oil grease running across her cheek, her mechanical tendencies shining through. 

“Good to see you,” she welcomed her. “How was work?”

Raven shrugged as she stepped in, greeting the excited Captain with a rub to the head. “Same as always. I was a little stressed about the job interview, though. I haven’t spoken with my manager about it yet, because I have less than zero idea whether or not I’m going to get it.” 

“Well, I’ve taken it upon myself to take your mind off of that.” Luna replied. “Are you ready for a road trip?”

Raven grinned. “You bet I am. How long?”

“Ah, around forty-five minutes. Do you want to eat on the way, or wait till we get there?”

“Let’s wait till we get wherever it is we’re going. I’m intrigued by all of this.” 

“Well, I’ve got the telescope and the dinner, did you bring what I asked?”

Raven raised her hand to show the book of constellations, gleaming blue and gold in the soft light of Luna’s apartment. “Of course.” 

“Perfect. Let’s get this show on the road.”

A few minutes later, they were driving down the dimming streets of the city, then out into the country that surrounded it. With Luna at the wheel, that left Raven to man the music. After flipping through a few stations, she stopped on an instrumental piece. Luna heard violins soaring in the background, accompanied by a quiet piano. 

“Yesss, Sleeping At Last is my jam,” Raven grinned, bopping her head along to the music. Luna barely concealed an affectionate smile as Raven sang quietly along. As they drove along the stretch of highway, sometimes bursting out in song when a tune came on that they both liked, there was a sense of pure happiness that Luna hadn’t felt in a long time. They slipped easily into duets, and it made her heart soar to hear how well their voices mixed. Luna tried not to pay so much attention to the lyrics of the love songs that Raven’s golden voice was addressing her with, instead harmonizing when appropriate. How was Raven having a good singing voice on top of everything else fair?

“Oh, we’re almost there,” she suddenly piped up in the midst of a rendition of Drops of Jupiter. Raven curiously looked out the window. A few minutes ago, they had entered a forest, the street turning to gravel, and the trees reaching high into the sky. 

Luna pulled up beside the road, parking her car and stepping out onto the grass, after grabbing the food and a red woolen blanket from the back seat. The light was getting dimmer, but sunset was only just starting. Raven got out too, and Luna led her a few steps away, through a few trees, until they reached a clearing at the edge of a cliff. It overlooked a large lake, empty except for the occasional sailboat or waterfowl drifting by beneath them.

“Welcome to my favorite place.” Although it was always beautiful (at least to Luna), she was glad that she had taken Raven here just as the sun was setting. The streaks of orange and gold reflected across the surface of the water, the waves gently distorting the glimmering colors. 

“Wow,” Raven breathed, coming to stand next to Luna, gazing out at the view. “How did you find this place?”

Luna spread out the blanket over the grass, set down the food, and sat down before answering. 

“I used to come here a lot. It was nice to be quiet and alone.” She took a deep breath, staring out over the peaceful water before she felt strong enough to continue. “After my sister died.”

Raven was probably startled, but she took a seat beside Luna in quiet, most likely waiting to see if she was going to continue. After a few moments, she did. 

“Her name was Adria. She was just a baby when our parents passed away, so she lived with me and our relatives until a few years back. Then— she got sick. Really sick. I did too, but I was older and stronger, so I got better. She…. didn’t. I moved out after that, and I haven’t seen my relatives since. I wouldn’t call it sudden, but I certainly wasn’t prepared for it. I just wasn’t— ready,” Luna choked out, then immediately stopped talking. 

_You idiot,_ she thought angrily, as she felt the unwanted tears sting her eyes, unseeing of the view. _You brought Raven here to show her this beautiful place and distract her from her own problems, not to cry on her shoulder as soon as you sit down. Besides, you’ve already had the ‘dead family talk,’ I’m sure she doesn’t want to have it again._

“I don’t know if it’s possible to ever be ready,” Raven said quietly after a few seconds. Luna looked over at her, but she was staring at the water as well, a quiet melancholy on her face. “And I’m not just talking about my parents. Finn— You’ve probably heard me talking about him. We dated, and—Well, we didn’t exactly break up. He— he died in a car accident. That I was in. Murphy and I, actually. Murphy was driving, and somehow ended up with nothing but a few scratches, bumps and bruises. I hated him for a while, but I guess I understood. I just needed someone to blame, and his sarcastic ass was an easy target. We became better friends once I finally got how much he blamed himself. I finally forgave him.

“But I felt even more broken after that. It’s how, you know,” Raven gestured to her leg. “This happened. I had just found a family again, and now one of them was gone. I guess it was easier that time, to have others who understood and felt the same pain I was. At least the emotional part of it. But it still hurt, all of it. And I still couldn’t talk about it for a long, long time. And I missed him. I still do. 

“We were fighting at the time, I thought he was messing around with Clarke. And, well, he wasn’t perfect by any means. But he was family, after my own was gone. And he made me necklaces, and listened to music with me— Oh, that’s part of why I freaked out at the concert. We used to listen to that song together, back when they were my favorite band. It was a little much to hear it again, on top of everything else.”

Luna nodded. She understood. There didn’t seem to be much to say, but she said what she could, making sure Raven knew she meant it. 

“I’m sorry, Raven.”

“I’m sorry too, Luna.”

They paused. Then Raven said, her voice rye, “Did you ever expect to be living such a screwed up life?”

“Never.”

“You know, I thought I would be be an astronaut by now.”

“Really? Isn’t there some sort of age restriction on that?”

Raven shrugged. “Maybe. I didn’t care back then. I knew I would be the youngest.”

“If anyone could do it, it would be you.” 

They sat quietly, finishing up the food while the last rays of the sun finished painting the horizon, the streaks of gold and pink fading into an inky bluish-black, pulling the moon into brighter focus against the dark. 

As the last fringes of light disappeared, leaving them to be illuminated by the glow of the moon and the flickering stars, Luna broke the silence.

“I’ve always preferred the evening to any other time of day. My uncle used to say that the night was in my blood. I loved it. It just seems so peaceful.”

“Me too. You can see the stars.” Raven sighed, a look of content on her features. “Speaking of, want to take your gift out for a spin?”

Luna smiled. “Of course. I’ll set it up.” 

They took turns gazing through the telescope, sprawled on the blanket beside each other. Luna listened as Raven talked about the constellations, occasionally checking her book before eagerly peering through the lens again. Luna always tended to turn the telescope back to the moon whenever it was her turn. With a naked eye, its surface seemed smooth, a glowing orb in space. But with knowledge and a telescope, she could see the cracks and craters, the imperfections, not glowing itself, but borrowing its light from the fiery sun. Luna told herself to take it easy on the metaphors before she started comparing herself to her namesake, leaning backwards after yet another session of gazing into its dim surface. However, Raven made no move from where she sat to take her own shot at the magnifier. 

She was staring up into the sky, wonder on her face. Luna scooted closer to her, and followed her gaze towards the array of stars, bright without the blurring city lights she was used to. She listened to the frogs peep, the wind blow through the trees, and a distant owl hoot. Softly, Raven began to speak. 

“People would ask me if I was scared to be an astronaut, because it was so dangerous. They thought I should be worried about all the risks, everything that could wrong, the tethers that would break and leave me cold and alone in space, like in all those moves. But I always thought it wouldn’t be a bad way to go out, way up there. Floating amongst the stars, drowning in the galaxy…”

Almost unconsciously, Luna took Raven’s hand. She had the vague idea that it was to keep her grounded, to keep her from floating away into the sky, where she wouldn’t be with Luna anymore. Raven noticed, and smiled up at her. Luna smiled softly back, then turned to look out over the water. 

“I used to want to live out in the middle of the ocean, away from everyone else. Or with just my sister, maybe our dog. We would eat fish and grow plants, never set foot on the shore unless we absolutely needed to. We wouldn’t have to deal with anyone else, any people who wouldn’t understand us or would try to turn us against the world. I got my first job in order to pay for a bigger boat so we could live this dream.” 

Raven leaned her head on Luna’s shoulder and listened to her talk, her body relaxed against Luna’s side. 

“Back when I lived with my aunt and uncle, I would sail for hours at a time, pretending to them that it was just to go fishing or develop my skills, or something. Really, I just wanted to be alone with the waves. The waves don’t care if you have a family back home. It doesn’t matter to the sea if you don’t fit in. The sun burns your face whether you like girls or boys, or both. I felt at home there, with no one but nature to judge me. 

“There had never really been anything that made me want to stay on dry land… Until recently. Suddenly, the best part of my day hasn’t been work anymore. Work— the one time that I get to go sailing, or at least be next to the water. Now I’ve got other things to look forward to.”

Luna moved her head to look at Raven, who pulled away slightly, their eyes locking. She could stop there, leave it at that, but there’s just something about the quiet and the calm that makes you want to pour your heart out. 

“I met you, and the others, and suddenly there was a reason not to run to the sea. People who I would miss if I just took off and lived on a boat for the rest of my life. I got to know Clarke, Murphy, Emori, Abby, Jackson, everyone else… And you. Raven. Someone different than anyone I’d ever met before. Someone who changed the way I saw the world.” 

Raven’s face was illuminated by the glow of the moon, radiant with starlight and a calm happiness. Her eyes glittered, and Luna couldn’t tear her own away. Raven reached out a hand and brushed back Luna’s long, curly hair, her palm soft against her cheek. Luna sucked in a breath, feeling her heart beat faster, faster, as her eyes flickered downwards, then back up, and Raven was moving closer and closer, until—

_“WOAH, WOAH, RADIOACTIVE, RADIOACTIVE…”_

Raven’s ringtone. _Dammit._

They were still for a beat longer, _one beat that felt like forever,_ eyes locked, then Raven pulled away and turned, her nimble fingers scrambling for her phone. She shot an apologetic look over her shoulder as she stood. The moment was lost. Luna closed her eyes, a pained expression on her face, as her heart continued to beat a mile a minute. _How many times?_

She heard the insistent music stop and Raven breathe a quick, “Hello, this is Raven Reyes? Who’s calling?” Luna half-hoped it would be some wrong number, pocket dial, a brief distraction before they could resume their… conversation. 

“Oh my god, really?!”

No such luck. 

She smiled supportively and gave a thumbs up when Raven mouthed a quick, “I got the job!” before turning away again, leaving Luna’s smile to fade slightly. She was happy, of course she was. This was a big deal. And Raven deserved it. But did they have to call _right now?_

After a few more seemingly hour-long minutes, Raven finished talking with the person on the other end of the phone. There was a second of silence while Luna waited, then Raven took an incredulous breath and spread her arms. “Well, I got the job!”

“What did I tell you?” Luna exclaimed. “You were perfect for it.”

Raven laughed. “You don’t even really know what it is.”

“Still. You’re perfect for everything.” 

“Totally.” They smiled at each other until Luna looked down, gesturing at the set up between them.

“I guess my work here is done, no need to distract you from the suspense anymore. You want to grab the empty containers while I get the telescope?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah, sure!” Raven responded, something in her tone that Luna couldn’t quite identify. They packed up in relative silence, and headed back to the car after one long glance back at the starry sky reflecting over the rippling water. Luna beat back the disappointment creeping through her chest with weapons of “be-happy-for-Raven” and a new, renewed hope. 

Raven was quiet on the way home, staring out of the window from her seat, taking in the quiet countryside, then flashing lights. The music echoed tinnily in the space between them, which seemed to have stretched tenfold since they had last sat there, side by side. The soundtrack of their adventurous road trip had faded back into the thin strains of chords and melodies from the radio that they truly were.  
Luna couldn’t exactly tell what it was, but she knew something was wrong. She tried to start conversation once or twice, but was met with short, polite replies from the other girl. Something was up. _Does it have to do with our moment before the phone rang?_ she wondered desperately. _Or is it not that? She got the job, shouldn’t she be happy?_

Although Luna was anxious about it being the former, she had a terrible feeling that something else was going on…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And something else is going on! Buuut you probably won’t find out what for a while because I’m off to an overnight camp with zero electronics allowed for two weeks, so sorry about that! I made myself sit down and write this chapter out the night before I leave so that I won’t leave y’all hanging for too long. Thanks for reading, and come talk to me on tumblr @mythicalquill or leave reviews! (But I won’t be back till 7/22/17!)


	8. Hesitating Then No Longer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is, the last chapter. Written in a day, and brought to you by yours truly after… about a month? of procrastination. Hope you enjoy, and I’d love to hear what you think, or any questions/headcanons you may have about the story! (My tumblr continues to be @mythicalquill, and check out my fully sea mechanic tumblr, @starsandseamechanic!)  
> (BY THE WAY, THE SONG VENUS BY SLEEPING AT LAST JUST WORKS PERFECTLY WITH THAT LAST CHAPTER (SEVEN) SO MAYBE GO HAVE A LISTEN) (Also, Rivers and Roads by the Head and the Heart was stuck in my head while writing _this chapter_ , for good reason. That one’s definitely also worth a listen.)

The next week and a half was one of the hardest of Luna’s life. Raven seemed to have dropped off the grid. She tried texting her a few times, and even calling, but she would only ever respond with short, one or two word answers if she answered at all, and her calls went straight to voicemail. Raven was also noticeably absent from the group chats, and her friends wondered at her whereabouts— and Luna’s too, after a while, because she stopped talking on there too. They had become her own friends separate from Raven, but she found it hard to talk to them like nothing was wrong when she was worried about the other girl. 

One day, she was laying in bed while Captain lay next to her, looking as despondent as she felt. Did she do something wrong? Had she scared Raven away by almost kissing her? That was understandable. She cursed herself for jeopardizing their friendship. Obviously Raven wanted to just be friends. And after the other night— maybe not even that. 

_Stop_ , she told herself firmly. _You’re overthinking this._ Sitting up so rapidly that Captain looked up, startled, Luna grabbed her phone and flipped through the contacts. After pausing momentarily, she selected one and started a call. After a second, the person on the other end picked up. 

“Hello?”

“Lincoln. It’s Luna. Can we talk?”

“Hey, Luna, I’ve barely heard from you recently. You’re never on the group chat. Is something going on?”

“No, it’s just— Well, kind of? I’m not really sure.”

“Well, that’s… vague.”

“Yeah, I know.” She paused. “Hey, you know what? Are you free? I think I should probably get out of the house. And it’d probably be good to have someone tell me that I’m stressing out over nothing.”

“I’d be happy to provide an alternate perspective on whatever’s bothering you. Want to meet up for lunch?”

“Definitely. I know a place, I’ll text you the details.” 

“I’ve got some good news, by the way. I’ll tell you when I see you.”

“Awesome! Bye.” Luna hung up the phone and prepared to go out. 

She arrived at a small cafe after a few minutes of walking, spotting Lincoln’s dark bald head as soon as she walked in the door. As they sat down at a table, he greeted her enthusiastically, and she managed a smile. It was good to see him. 

As they settled in, she asked, “So, what’s that good news you mentioned on the phone?”

“Well… Octavia and I are dating!” Lincoln grinned, spreading his arms wide. 

Luna’s jaw dropped. “What?! How did that happen?”

“I asked her out last week— After talking to Bellamy, of course. We had our second date yesterday.” 

Luna shook her head in disbelief. “I’m so happy for you. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” 

“Well, you’ve kind of been off the grid. Speaking of, what’s up with you?”

“I think Raven and I might be fighting.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I’m not really sure. Everything’s just been off recently. We’ve barely talked since that night.”

“Sorry— what night?” 

“A bit over a week ago. She was nervous about the results of her interview so we… watched the sunset and looked at the stars over the sea while eating Chinese food and talking about our lives.”

“Luna. That sounds an _awful_ lot like a date. Heck, that sounds like a proposal. Do you know where Octavia and I went on our first date? An _arcade._ ”

“Yeah, but Arcadia is pretty nice for an arcade. I’m sure she loved it.”

“Oh, she did, because she is way better at those sharp-shooter games than I am. Who knew she could be so violent?”

“Lincoln, she literally owns a medieval sword and takes fencing lessons with Indra every other week. Plus, she’s a Blake. How could she not have inherited some of those skills from being Bellamy’s sister?”

“You’re right. I guess I just wasn’t emotionally prepared to watch her take down all those deer. I think I’m going to stick with dinner and a movie next time.” 

“Probably a safe plan.”

“So, where are you planning on taking Raven for your next date?”

“Oh my _god,_ Lincoln.”

“Now that I think about it, you two seem to have crossed off most of the suggestions I’d have. Museum, coffee, party, bookstore, gallery, concert, that Star Wars movie—”

“Even though Raven’s more into Star Trek.”

“See? You’re practically dating.”

“I just wish she saw it that way. Why is she avoiding me?” 

“Well, you said she got the job, didn’t you? Maybe she’s just stressed over that.”

“I guess so. But I feel like there’s something else. I’ve tried calling once or twice, but she’s always been busy. And we don’t really get to see each other unless we schedule it. Do you think she’s mad at me about something?”

“I doubt it. Have you seen Raven get mad? She’s the ‘confront you about it’ type, not really the ‘passive-aggressive ignoring you’ type.”

“When have you seen her mad? _I’ve_ barely seen her mad. Just occasionally frustrated and/or stressed.” 

“Oh, I went by her work to drop off some books she asked to borrow, and there was this guy there to get his car fixed. He was a _total_ jerk, and kept making quips about automobiles being a man’s thing, or something stupid like that. If it were me, I probably would’ve said nothing and, I don’t know, done a really bad job fixing his vehicle, but she really let him have it. It was impressive, and a little bit scary. I’m pretty sure that’s the last time he’ll ever mess with a girl with a box of power tools at her disposal.”

Luna smiled at this story. Now that Lincoln mentioned it, that _did_ sound like Raven. Maybe she didn’t have to worry about the other girl being angry with her. But then, _what was her deal?_

“Maybe you should find out more about this new job of hers. You could help her not be so stressed over it, or something like that. I’m sure you’ll figure it out, you two are perfect for each other. Now, would you rather get the chicken caesar salad, or the wrap?”

For the rest of their meal, Luna put Raven out of her mind and grilled Lincoln on his newly formed relationship with Octavia. He had a lot to say on the subject, and was practically glowing as he spoke. As he did so, she watched him with happiness, and a slight twinge of jealousy. They were no longer in the same boat; Lincoln was well on his way to a happy ending, while she just kept meeting more and more obstacles. 

When she got home from lunch, feeling much better about her situation, she sat down at her desk and booted up her computer. Once it was on, she searched the name of the company that Raven had mentioned, clicking on the first result.

A business-like page popped up. She scrolled down it, skimming, looking for information that could help her figure out what was making Raven act that way. She looked at the hours, at the pay— surprisingly little, but she supposed that Raven was just starting out— but couldn’t find anything too upsetting. Then, she looked at the address where all business took place. 

101 Polaris Road, California. 

Luna read that again. Then again. _California?_ That was on the other side of the _country! Surely Raven isn’t— I mean, she would’ve told me— wouldn’t she have?_ She clicked through the other results quickly. They all showed the same thing. Feeling something very much like anger (or was it fear?) bubbling in her chest, Luna picked up her phone and sent a text to Raven.

“we need to talk. are u moving???”

A few seconds later, a reply. “I’ll call.”

As Luna waited anxiously for her phone to ring, her eyes remaining locked on the screen, that blocky professional text gazing back at her she tried to collect her thoughts. What would she say? What _could_ she say to this person who had become such a huge part of her life, and now might be leaving her behind? By the time Raven called, she still had no idea. 

“Raven?” she asked, picking up the phone. 

“Hey,” the girl on the other end answered, sounding resigned and defeated. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Luna asked immediately, trying to keep her voice calm, and void of the hurt she was feeling. 

“I was going to, I swear, it’s just—”

“Just what? What made you think you couldn’t talk to me? This is a big deal, Raven. You’re _leaving._ And not just leaving for somewhere a quick drive away. _The other side of the country._ And, okay, fine, I get why you’re doing it. I do. It’s this big job. But why not tell me? Or the others? Wait— _Do_ the others know?”

“No, they don’t either. It wasn’t just you, Luna, it’s just— I couldn’t—” There was a moment of silence as Raven sighed in frustration. Luna waited, her grip on her phone growing tighter by the second. 

“I was going to tell you, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it before I heard back about the job in case I didn’t get it, and I didn’t want to ruin that amazing night you set up, and I’ve just been so busy since.” 

“So busy that you couldn’t handle a _five minute phone call,_ or a text, or just _something_ to let me know what was going on? Or even that you weren’t upset with me for some reason?”

“Upset with you? God, no, Luna, I wasn’t. I’m not. Of course not. I just didn’t want to tell you because I was afraid, well, afraid that… And this job, it’s an opportunity for me,” Raven said, rapidly changing course mid-sentence. “I have to take it, I have to see if I can do this. And it’ll be great for my career, so… I mean, I guess it’s just some chance I have to take.” 

“You’re giving up a lot for a chance. What about college? What about your friends? What— what about me?” Luna managed, barely keeping her voice from cracking. _“What are you running away from, Raven?”_ she eventually burst out, then stopped short. 

There was a long, raw moment of silence, so long that Luna wondered if Raven had left her phone. Just as she was about to tentatively speak, however, there was a sigh from the other end. 

“I— I’ll talk to you later,” Raven said, her voice emotionless. 

“But—”

“ _Goodbye,_ Luna.” 

There was a click from the other end. Luna lay back, letting the phone drop to her side, her head spinning with so many more thoughts and emotions than before. She lay there for a good half hour, trying to process her world being thrown upside down. Then, she picked up her phone again, and dialed the one person who she felt she could talk to. 

“Hey, Lincoln, I know this is the second time today, but could I come over? I’ve got some stuff to talk about, and I feel like it would be easier in person.”

After this call, she grabbed her bag and walked out the door, continuing till she reached his place. He answered the door, but neither of them spoke until they reached his apartment. It was dark and felt like a cave, with various herbs and half-finished drawings lying around the tables. Luna sat down in an armchair, gazing at the floor, while Lincoln remained standing, arms crossed in concern. 

“So, what’s wrong? You sounded stressed over the phone.”

“Raven.”

“What’d she do now? Did you talk to her? Is everything okay?”

“Not really. She’s moving. To California.”

Lincoln gaped at her for a second, then took a seat across from her. “What do you mean? Why?”

“That’s where her job is. She knew she would have to move, but she took it anyway, and she didn’t even tell me. Or anyone else. So, she’s just going to leave forever, and I’m never going to be able to tell her how I feel because she’s running away and leaving me here behind, and I was _just_ starting to think that this could be something _real,_ ” Luna finished. 

Lincoln paused. “Wow, okay. I mean, it wasn’t great of her to not tell you she was leaving, or even that she was thinking about leaving, but you must know that it’s not because of you. You’re her friend, even if she doesn’t like you the way you want her to. And if she does, maybe you could try long-distance? It’s clear that this job is important to her, but I know that you’re important to her too. Who says she can’t have both?”

Luna considered this, then shook her head. “Long distance never works out, I’ve tried once or twice. Besides, a relationship _starting_ with one of the pair leaving doesn’t seem like a good decision.”

“Well, why don’t you tell her how you feel anyway? Maybe she’ll stay for you.”

Luna shook her head emphatically at this. “It’s been, like, a few months since we met. I can’t ask her to give up anything this huge. That would in no way be the start of a healthy relationship. It’s just— I wish she didn’t have to go. Right after…” She trailed off, thinking about that night at the water. What if the kiss was just going to be a farewell, because Raven knew she wouldn’t have to continue anything? She obviously didn’t return Luna’s feelings. Then she disappeared for a week so she wouldn’t have to deal with the aftermath before she left. Luna groaned, and Lincoln looked worried.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” he asked.

“I just need to accept that she’s going, and I’ll see her probably one more time in my entire life.”

“Hey, I’m sure you’ll keep in contact. Raven’s the type to fight to keep her friends.”

“Yeah, at first, but eventually it’ll get too hard, until it’s one text every week, then month, then not at all. Then, in five years, we’ll be looking back at pictures, wondering ‘What ever happened to that person?’ God, how can this feel like a break-up when we never even dated!?”

Lincoln took a deep breath. “Luna. I get that this is a big deal, but I think you might be overreacting _a little._ Plenty of long-distance friendships last, even if you believe relationships don’t..” 

Luna opened her mouth to argue, then sighed in defeat and leaned back in her chair. “Fine. You’re right. I’m just upset that she didn’t feel like she could tell me.”

“Are you? Or are you just upset that she’s leaving?”

Luna considered this. Her feelings were a jumble right now, hard to sort out. There was definitely some hurt at not being confided in, but the overwhelming emotion was that of anguish at the loss of one of her best friends, and hidden behind that, a small twinge of guilt for not being supportive about something that must have been a tough decision. 

She stood up abruptly. “Thanks, Lincoln. That was helpful.”

“Wait, where are you—”

“I’ll call you later.” With that, she strode out of the apartment, leaving a bewildered Lincoln in her wake. 

As she hit the sidewalk outside his building, she stopped. She looked down the way she had come and hesitated, then turned on her heel and began walking in the opposite direction.  
After a few minutes, she entered a building, walked up a few flights of stairs, and stopped outside a door on the sixth floor. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and knocked.

After a second, the door opened wide, to reveal a stressed-looking Raven in jeans and a red top. When she saw Luna, she looked surprised.

“Hey! I was just about to call you.”

Luna hesitated, then said, “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Once she stepped inside, with the door closed behind them, they both began speaking at once. 

“I just came from—”

“I was thinking—”

Raven gave a half-smile, and motioned for Luna to go first.

She took a deep breath, gazing around the brightly lit apartment with its blue walls etched with designs of golden stars, the rows upon rows of bookshelves, the messy desk, and the grey cat curled up on top of the sofa. 

“I just came to apologize. I understand why you didn’t tell me, I was just upset that you were leaving at all. And I’m sorry about that, too. I don’t want to keep you from pursuing your dreams, that would make me a horrible friend. I’m happy for you, and I hope that we can try to keep in touch while you’re away.”

Raven looked at her, sadness and a trace of… apprehension? In her eyes. She closed her eyes, and Luna could tell she was steeling herself for something. _What?_

Raven opened her eyes again, brown gazing into brown, and began to speak. 

“Okay, I have something to say, and I’d rather you not say anything until I’m done. Alright?” 

Luna nodded. Where was she going with this?

“Ever since Finn died, I’ve been nervous about getting to know new people. I don’t know if it’s whether I feel like I’m being disloyal to him, or just that I’m afraid anyone else I meet will just leave, like he did. Him on top of my parents, it felt like everyone I got really close to would get hurt. My friends assured me that they weren’t going anywhere, but adding any new people to my life wasn’t the plan. Then there was you, and you understood. You had all these tragedies in your life too, and as much as I wanted to keep holding you at arm’s length, it just got harder and harder.”

Luna was sure Raven could hear the frantic beating of her heart in the otherwise quiet apartment. She said nothing, though, and waited for her to continue. 

“And talking about him with you that night, it didn’t feel wrong, or like I was doing something bad. You made it feel okay. And you weren’t going anywhere; You were _there,_ with me. So I felt— like I could start something.

“But then I got that call, and it reminded me of all the reasons I was taking it. So I swore to myself that I wouldn’t see you, wouldn’t call, or text, or schedule a meeting. That would make what I was about to do too hard. As it was, it was agony. I guess I hadn’t quite realized how much you’ve come to be a part of my life, these past months. You snuck up on me. All I wanted to do was talk to you, every day. But I held out. 

“And then, of course, you figured it out. I should have known you would eventually, or one of the others would’ve. When you called me, I got to thinking. I _am_ running away from something, Luna. I’m running away from you. And I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to stop running.” Raven stepped forward, their faces nearly as close as they had been that night.

“You don’t have to run anymore,” Luna whispered. “I’m right here.” 

And Raven leaned in closer, and suddenly they were kissing, and it was beautiful and sudden and everything Luna had wished for for so long, and all of her thoughts were consumed with Raven, Raven, _Raven_. As they pulled reluctantly apart, Luna let out a half-laugh, totally astonished by the whole thing. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for _months_ ,” she admitted, a smile spreading across her face.

“Then why didn’t you say so?”

“Why didn’t _you_?”

“Fair point,” Raven conceded, and kissed her again.

After a second, Luna pulled back, uncertainty clouding her eyes. “But— You’re still leaving.”

Raven pulled away, a slow grin spreading across her features. “Actually, I’m not.”

Luna gaped back at her. “You’re not?” she asked incredulously. 

“After I hung up on you— sorry about that, by the way— I called the company and informed them that I wouldn’t be taking the job after all.”

Luna stared at her, torn between happiness and guilt. After a moment, she managed, “W-why? You didn’t just do this for me, did you? Because, as romantic as that would be, it just wouldn’t—”

“No, Luna, I did it for myself. Okay, you definitely factored into my decision, but I realized I was doing this all wrong. I would regret going as soon as I got there, I would miss this place and all of you like hell, and I _really_ should stay in school. Also, apartments down there are expensive, especially with what I would be making. Maybe if I had some sort of parental figure around, I wouldn’t be rushing into decisions like this.” Her laugh held a tinge of sadness. “As it is, there’s really no one to consult about things like this. And I didn’t want to talk to any of you all.” 

Luna reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. “I get it. I’m just glad you came around when you did. It’s been a long wait since The Raven, I’m not sure if I could have stood a second of you being gone.”  
Raven smiled back. “Me neither.” She leaned in for another kiss, which Luna happily returned. 

As they pulled away, Raven’s eyes lit up. “Oh, that reminds me! Wait here for a second.” She motioned to the couch. “Feel free to sit down. Even if it doesn’t quite match up to yours, I will say that it _is_ pretty comfortable.”

With a smile, Luna took a seat and waited while Raven ducked into her room, emerging a few minutes later clutching a book in her hands. As she plopped herself down next to the other girl, Luna could see that it was the same copy of ‘The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe’ that Raven had read from on that very first day. She grinned down at it in affection, and when she looked back up, saw her expression reflected in Raven’s eyes. 

“I— I got this for you. As a going-away present,” Raven admitted. “But now, I’m thinking it could be a present for a different occasion.” Luna could feel her heart beat faster, even after the events of the night. Raven bit her lip nervously, then smiled, a small, shy, smile. 

“Luna Nadia Flouku, would you be my girlfriend?”

Luna laughed, all the happiness she was feeling poured into it. Unable to even form words, she nodded emphatically, leaning in to kiss her girlfriend— _girlfriend_ — with a smile.  
When they pulled away, they were both glowing with happiness. Raven looked down at the book, a blush creeping up her features. “Well, great,” she managed, and they laughed again.  
Luna looked down too, at the ruby red eye of the raven that started it all. That fateful day in the bookstore, which had led to so many more… 

“Will you read to me?” she asked tentatively. Raven looked at her, smiling, unmasked affection glimmering in her eyes.

“Of course. How about… The Tell-Tale Heart?”

“Whatever you want.”

She flipped open the book, and started paging through until she got to the right story. Before Raven started, however, Luna had something she needed to say.

“Hey Raven? This past week was pretty rough. Promise you won’t ice me out like that again?” she asked, leaning onto her girlfriend’s shoulder. 

Raven met her eyes. “Nevermore,” she murmured, squeezing Luna’s hand, and began to read aloud, her words echoing brilliantly in the content quiet of the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they live happily ever after and for their first official date Luna takes Raven sailing and it’s lovely. And she finds another job that she loves. And nobody dies until they’re very very old and have lived a good long life. The end.  
> (By the way, I went to a summer camp, and this girl in my cabin immediately started talking to me about Poe, which I had actually started reading because of this fic, and then we hiked to an overlook above a lake, and it was awesome. And she was very cute. Just wanted to share.)  
> Remember, I'd love to hear what you thought of this! (@mythicalquill or @starsandseamechanic)  
> Thanks to all of you who kept up with this till the end, and double thanks to those who commented or came and talked to me! I appreciate all of you!

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways, please please please let me know what you thought of this, and if you'd like to read more! And of course, I'd love to hear any constructive criticism or comments y'all have. Thanks for reading! (And if you want to talk to me on tumblr, it's @mythicalquill!)


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